What's In A Name

In the time I've spent reading philosophy the one branch, school, what have you has been semantics. As a philosophy semantics is more than just a way to annoy people in an argument. At it's heart semantics states that to truly understand the concepts of other schools of thought or the world at large we first need to understand the words we use to describe them. So, naturally, I have spent a lot of time in debates with friends about the proper way to use the words we take for granted every day.

With that in mind, presented here is the results of an argument I had at work a couple years ago. Being that I work in a kitchen I am at times not the nicest person. The same can be said for everyone I've worked with over the years. The problem is that we are all curmudgeonly in our own special ways. So, presented here are the definitions of the commonly used to describe me and the people we work with.

Jerk: A jerk is any one who acts from a place of hatred. To put it another way, a jerk is someone who, with every action and statement, is trying to hurt and insult you. We've all known this guy, he wears a wife beater, he has some obnoxious tattoo (not a comment on tattoos, I have tattoos too). Oh, and he cannot handle any kind of criticism and will respond with threats of violence and over the top insults in response.

Douche-bag: A douche is not always an unlikeable guy and can be fun to hang out with. The problem is that a douche doesn't realize that NOT liking them is an option. To make matters worse, the Douche-bag tends to try and live with in a genre or personality that doesn't suite them at all. Example: The short, fat, Phillepeno with "Thug Life" tattooed on his arm.

Cock Sucker: These are fun. Not for the reason you're thinking. A Cock Sucker is any one who is looking for a reaction, any reaction, from the things he says and does. This can be unbelievably entertaining at times just be careful not to give them any personal information as they will use it against you. Example: My former boss. On one occasion I had to pee, but I couldn't get away from my station. I told him and he stood next to me for the next ten minutes holding two glasses pouring water back and forth. On another I made the mistake of coming in with a hangover, so once again he stood next to me banging on a pot with a ladle. Hilarious.

And then there are Assholes. I am proud to be one. An asshole just doesn't care whether or not you like him or not. He's not trying to get a reaction. He thinks he's better than you. True or not, that is at his core. As a result an asshole will always tell you when you're being wrong. In their eyes at least.

Still in debate for a proper definition are Cunt, Bitch, Slut, Thug, Punk and Fag. Also Gentleman and Lady. Please help with any ideas you may have.

On a more doughnuts side not. Last night was a very sad night. Due to financial reasons, I was forced in to eating Maruchen Noodles for dinner. After 8 years working as a professional chef, to be reduced to that level is nothing short of devastating. No worries though. Tonight I have money and am planning to have Pho and I'm going to drink the second best beer I've had that wasn't brewed by me. Little known fact, I am powered by noodles.